spanked to tears

I have a problem with this…. I’m not sure I’ll ever be spanked to tears… perhaps its just the phrasing…..

I’m a really strong woman and I can take a lot and I have a pretty high pain tolerance level so I’m wondering if J would have to beat me half to death before I could break down in tears from the pain.  I guess in some ways feeling like a newbie for so long and feeling like I had something to attain to I set up being “spanked to tears” as a goal (as if … now it’s rediculous when I think about it) you know those who had attained were seasoned and those who hadn’t well you still had a way to go . Perhaps that line of thinking has kept me feeling like a newbie after 2-3 years of cdd.  circular reasoning… LOL. And faulty thinking at that.

I cried for the first time during a spanking, but it was weird. It wasn’t from guilt, or the pain, or remorse. I was angry…so angry I cried. I was mad at the things J was saying…  He lectured me pretty hard about my wrong doing and I didn’t agree and didn’t want to comply. I felt trapped and frustrated with no outlet so I cried.

I’m wondering if he lectured me harder and more often or longer if I’d cry more since it seems to be his words that got to the heart of the matter

and I’m wondering if we’ve wrongly labeled something… perhaps it should be more like

lectured to tears….

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11 thoughts on “spanked to tears

  1. Bob says:

    Many people need their intellects and emotions “touched” in order to achieve tears. Others cry from having their “feelings” hurt, not just their bottoms. Yet others cry from the affliction of pain alone. People’s responses are so different from one another!!

    Go figure!!

    Bob. ( I enjoy your blog!)

  2. his first mate says:

    It is the words that get me too. I have only ever cried once during a spanking, and it was definitly from the lecture. That being said, I have a hard time taking a spanking that does not have a lecture with it. The lecture really makes me able to focus on the problem and do better and it makes it easier for me to submit to the spanking for some reason

  3. Sara says:

    Most of us cry from the emotions of the spanking, not the literal physical pain. Being physically hurt to the point of crying seems …well way more harsh than most people want to be. I think it took me quite a while to learn to cry, to be able to let go, to show my husband my emotions, to be willing to make myself that vulnerable. It certainly does not happen every time, and It was something I worked on. The tears always come from the inside, his words or my feelings. The pain is merely a catalyst. Sara

  4. Kelly says:

    LOL…idk, but I think there are quite a few people who are like you. I however am not 1 of them. LOL

    I simply cannot take a whole lot, it does not take much to make me cry at all.

    I think even in my case though his words would make me cry even sooner.

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Crying is not a requirement.

  5. Well, I feel like a “newbie” still too. I sure wonder when that ends. You’re a few years ahead and I figured it wouldn;t be THAT long, lol! I think we all have experiences that are “new”, and that’s what makes us feel like newbies.
    I don’t know if I’m correct here (in everyone else’s eyes), but IMHO, you did cried from this spanking. Not sure if that was in question, lol!

    I have been crying already when he spanked me. I tend to know that I’ve let him down and the tears come before hand. (that’s sort of a pun, isn’t it? lol!) I don’t think THAT is the same thing but for you, I think it’s your first cry. I’ve heard others say that it often comes from within, not from the physical pain. Maybe the pain is part of it for some, but I think when they cry from a deep place, it is brought on my what our HOH says as well as the pain. It touches the woman internally and brings on the catharsis of tears. I’m going by what I’ve read and heard. I haven’t been there myself. Sometimes he touches that place inside me, but it hasn’t been enough to get me to tears. We are BOTH still “newbies”. ;-)

    I’m sorry you were angry, and I think had H spanked me the time I describe in my last post, I would have been very angry. I hope that you were able to talk to him about what made you feel that way. I know that would have helped me. Well, it did anyway, even though he didn’t choose to spank.

    Curious on this: Do you think in the end it helped you to see his points? Or are you/were you still angry?
    “Lectured to tears” seems an apt description here. Thanks for sharing this. hugs, E

  6. Meow says:

    Just recently I began to see my tears as a gift to myself and to Lash. I stopped holding back from the pain and from my reaction and somehow the tears came more readily. You’ll probably find your trigger and it may start with anger and move on to something else. I hope that whatever works for you, it becomes a good experience. Really interesting post!

  7. jslittlelady says:

    ty Bob, I’m grateful to anyone who spends their time reading my meager thoughts and writings. I am typically one that cries when my feelings are hurt….I hate to cry in general but sometimes i long for that release during a spanking…but there are so many walls…. I’m afraid J hasn’t quite scaled them all…. we’ve come a long way though and I’m proud of him and our progress.

    first mate,
    J does lecture me some….but it’s not usually a you were wrong and here’s why kind of thing…. it’s more like you know why you’re about to be otk and it’s almost always before hand and never during.

    sara,
    perhaps learning to cry is my issue…. I just don’t know what it would take emotionally to get me there, but that certainly doesn’t mean that J doesn’t do a very thorough job… and I guess that’s what I meant in my head. I feel he’s very adequate and does right by me even if I can’t cry…I think it’s going to take something else other than just the spanking…..and thus my reasons for learning to dislike the term “spanked to tears”

    kelly,
    thanks ….that’s reassuring.

    Elysia,
    thankyou….this is another issue I face… and I tihnk it has something to do with the lack of tears…I’m extremely hard headed and stubborn… (J would tell you) so it’s very hard for me to actually admit I’m wrong even if I know I am…. almost impossible…..so rarely ever would I feel his disappointment and sorrow over that before a spanking…. I tihnk a good deal of the spanking is getting me to the point where I’ll even say …”ok , Ok , yes I was wrong and I deserve this..” a few times , it has happened that an hr or so later when I’ve had my space and I’m thinking on things then I’ll get the sniffles and watery eyes, but definitely not an all out cry.

    oh and heck I wasn’t going to say this because I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, but it was one of those times when the spanking was on the spur of the moment and he was angry…. now let me preface this with my husband would never hurt me in anger (more than a spanking which is something entirely different) and I just had this fear (which by the way I don’t think is bad…. having a healthy fear/respect for your husband discipline is probably a good thing) grip me and it was kind of silly honestly … but I think the tears came partially from that fear too.
    after the spanking I wanted to be mad still but honestly it’s hard for me to gather up that wall of pride and be angry behind it when I’ve just been spanked…. sooo I was much calmer and I did see his points and I know it’s not for everyone but for us…. even when he’s wrong, J expects me to be respectful and to respond in a right manner…. He’s quick to admit and apologize for his mistakes and bad decisions but he feels his mistakes don’t exscuse my wrong so I usually would be disciplined regardless . So there’s not much room for me to be mad that he spanked me . *hugs*

    meow,
    I wanted to say a big thankyou for stopping by. Your blog and a few others were some of the first blogs that I read when (and even before) we got started. I was so glad to see you posting again and I’m honored you stopped by. I’ve been inconsistent lately because I just had our third child in january and life has been hectic but I hope to get more faithful again. thankyou again.

  8. Dee says:

    Js, I could have written these words. I haven’t cried yet, I’m not sure I ever will. I haven’t been in an ‘emotional’ enough state yet I don’t think but I know that this will be ‘why’ I cry and not because it hurts. I’m wondering if it’s because I don’t feel as if I’m ‘properly’ submitting yet? (yeah I have an issue with this too if I’m honest with myself!) I think when I learn to submit, to let go…… maybe this is when the tears may come because I DO want/need to feel this emotional release.

    Dee x
    (I’m enjoying your blog :)

    • jslittlelady says:

      Thanks Dee,
      you probably will cry when the time is right…. just becareful what you wish for.
      thanks for stopping by
      JLL

  9. wickedwhimsies says:

    I have only cried twice in ten years, both while being spanked by the same man, nearly seven years apart. I am very strong and it is difficult for me to let go. I too, have a hard time letting M see my emotions. I was spanked last night, for a long time. I finally let go and cried hard. I needed it and M knew it. He was strong for me so that I could get the emotional release I so desperately needed. Good luck. It will happen. Be patient.

  10. fieara says:

    For me words hurt much more than physical pain (in non-spanking situations.) The second time in my life I was spanked, I did cry from pain after being paddled and flogged for nearly an hour (with a short break) but it was the cane that made me cry. So I’d suggest implements if you want to cry from pain, and a very long spanking. For me, crying was my body’s reaction while I actually felt very happy and turned-on (this wasn’t DD, just some older guy spanking me because he bought my virginity and we’re switches, so I don’t know if this comment is relevant to your situation as the severity of the punishment must fit the crime).

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