Something I’ve always found interesting is how much J has come to know me since we started CDD. We were discussing how happy we are and how much better things have been since we embarked on this journey and J commented that he thought it was because what we have really learned is how to communicate properly and well. (though I think I fail at this often) Through our communication we have gotten to truly know each other… much better than we did in our earlier years. And I’m so glad!!!!
So while I was contemplating asking him to discipline me rather than let it hang over my head, J was thinking that he needed to take care of things. No need to ask. The man is on top of things…
Thursday night the kids were being ornery and J decided to put them to bed early. I didn’t think much of it because they really were tired. I had other things on my mind at the time til I heard the door click and I turned to see him paddle in hand. uh oh….
I wonder if I’ll ever grow out of it , but I see the paddle and my stomach falls and fear grips me and I can’t help but look for the escape route….This time it had been awhile since I had earned a spanking and the imminent fear was rising fast … so I’m sure I looked frantic . I wish I was more quick on my feet but I’m not so I just tried my best to ignore him while I thought what to do…. He quickly reduced the space in his room with just his presence . He ordered me over the bed…. I was out of thinking time and still had no ideas… so I pulled out the old honesty card and said “I’m scared” . I can look pretty pathetic and with any other man , I think he’d be mush….maybe he’s just used to my antics. Needless to say he wasn’t buying it and I didn’t get one ounce of sympathy. I’m preparing to get into position and as a one last-ditch effort I threw my self on his neck and begged him to just hug me first….
The man is steel!!!!!(LOL) He just gently took my arms removed them from around his neck and turned me around to face the bed , asking me to get into position and not make this worse…. grudgingly I did. Seconds later I was sorry I did. I seriously think I forget how wicked his paddle is. I loathe that thing. Having been so long I simply could not accept my spanking no matter how much I agreed I needed it. I’m sure I tried to block with both my hands and feet. (I’m sure J must have thought I had lost my mind) I am not normally that bad… he ended up holding me down somewhat so he could finish and it turned into a very bad discipline session and then I was sorry that I was sorry I had obeyed!!!!! Definitely not one of my finer moments.
but the whole point is , he took care of my needs, wants and desires all without me ever having to ask… which is wonderful on a couple of fronts. First off , it’s a wonderful testament to how much we have grown through this. I’ll be eternally grateful (maybe not for the spankings .. he he)
and secondly every CDD wife know how awful it is to asked to be spanked… some have not even dared to go there. It’s humbling, embarrassing and always leaves me feeling a bit insecure… thank God those days are past!!!!
I’m sure at some point in the future I may have to ask because well neither J nor I are perfect and we definitely haven’t “arrived” . Not sure we ever will… I kind of look at it like a destination unknown roadtrip… just following the road to see where it takes us. But for now we’re just enjoying the ride.
Oh it is hard to ask for a spanking. But I have to. Dutch doesn’t always know when I’m needing it. So I have come to asking. It is humbling and hard. They try though don’t they?
Kelly
I came by to say Happy LOL Day to you, but only found this post. I think I read it in my e-mail but neglected to comment. I too have been in that position of thinking maybe I should ask, and then he makes his little announcement ahead of me. So glad you got what you needed, and I hope it’s all still going well.
(wow, he put the kids to bed too? lucky you! lol) Hugs, Elysia